What is wrong with me...?

Wow...this is is a hard situation. I suggest staying away from this environment as soon as possible. There is no doubt that this is what is causing the stress. I am sure others will say the same thing. I am in college myself and I know that there is winter housing available. You can maybe look at a apartment with a close friend. Take those opportunities if you can afford it. You should not have to come home and face that mess again. I wish you strength, forgiveness later in life, and healing.